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Searching for the Words's avatar

Comfort. Comfort to you. In caring for my husband I have come to see

myself as the primary keeper and now teller of his stories. An only child, both of his parents are gone, and so now, too, are too many of the details of his past. 💔

Ricky Wang's avatar

Thank you for reading and the comfort. It is so difficult being the primary caregiver. It’s so sad how many of those stories are lost. I’m sure as his husband, you two have so many wonderful and shared memories together. Sending over positive energy to you and your husband.

Lani V. Cox's avatar

I had no idea it was called 'forged truth' because there was a bit of that in the early pages of my memoir, where I tried to reconstruct how my parents met.

But something you said about getting all the different perspectives of who your mom is, struck me, because I never had that chance with my dad. I got his mother's and his wife's point of view, and I dearly wanted another.

This is an opportunity to know your mom through other people's eyes. Breathe in the journey, Ricky, and thanks for having us along!

Ricky Wang's avatar

Thanks Lani! I appreciate you for reading along on my journey and trying to discover who my mother was before she became my mother.

So far, I've only gotten stories from my dad and her sister. I'm trying to get some from her brother, but it's a little more challenging since he lives in China. I would love to be able to find her college friends or classmates from China.

I'm trying to get their contact information and reach out. I know that if it's possible, my mom would love to see them, and I might get some stories I've never heard before.

Lani V. Cox's avatar

Absolutely. Whenever I reunite with old friends, and it’s not often, I’m always amazed by what they remember. It feels like they remember more than me, too! 🙃😄 Adore your idea and I hope you’re able to make those connections. Good luck, Ricky!

Ricky Wang's avatar

Thanks Lani. I just need to somehow find and get in contact with them, which is the hardest part.

Yi Xue's avatar

Is it even possible for us to know everything we’d want to know about our parents? I am not sure. Cherish what we know, and love will fill in the rest. ❣️

Lani V. Cox's avatar

Of course! I love the way you put it. xo

Ricky Wang's avatar

You are right!

I don't think it is possible to know your parents or anyone completely! Just trying to fill in the gaps and get to know the other versions of "my mother".

Rowena Harding 🍉's avatar

Beautiful writing about a painful experience

Ricky Wang's avatar

Thank you!

Margaret C Nikoleit's avatar

My mother failed physically long before mentally, so my experience is different. But you describe yours, and your mother’s, so well it’s very relatable. And heartbreaking. ❤️‍🩹 All the best to you and your family.

Ricky Wang's avatar

Thank you so much for reading. I don't know how these neurological diseases decide to take first. Is it the physical abilities or the mental. When it's physical, at least the mind is still there, even if the body isn't cooperating. With cognitive decline, I wonder if there's a point where she doesn’t know something is wrong. All the best to you and your family too. ❤️